What a disgruntling start to the week... I need a vacation. And its only Tuesday. Any ideas? I'm thinking, a cabin, deep in the woods somewhere. No Internet. No phones. Just me, my books and a piano. A roaring, crackling fireplace. A cozy rug on the floor with a blanket to keep me warm. And... maybe I'm pushing it, but a room with a studio in it would be a nice touch as well... and, possibly... a boyfriend? (nah. I don't really need that mess.) Fine... throw a damn puppy in the room and I'll cuddle Fido instead. Geesh.

Totally stressful start the past two days. Deadlines are stressful enough, but the things that are needed to get the deadlines done would be the MORE stressful part of the this equation. (And, maybe I suck at math... but I know I can do this tally on one hand. For example, Take "the need" to get shit done MINUS the required "aforementioned need" = can't finish the to do list. Argh!) Most of my deadlines are self-inflicted flesh wounds I bring on myself. Which is fine, because a little internal bloodshed is necessary when you're building something. And I tend to need to juggle multiple projects at once or I go nuts. But, what annoys me more is when you must rely on other people sometimes to get these "said" things done and the people you're waiting on are coming up short. Obviously, it takes a village to accomplish anything in this world. Yes, I've done a lot of it myself, but I could never say I did it fully alone. No one can. Someone has helped you in some way, along the way. I don't care if your job is mowing lawns. Someone helped you with that business.

 I'm a big believer of people who follow through, speak the truth and come from an honest place in their heart. It shows respect. Otherwise, go fuck yourself. I have no interest nor do I have the time to waste on ANYONE not pulling their weight, not being forthcoming, and not having the innate integrity to back up what comes out of your mouth. Too many people in this world, so selfishly existing, without the smallest iota of their effect on others. I'm not talking about taking care of yourself first ideas - those are a given. We must do that to find our happiness. What I'm talking about is when people say they'll do one thing and then do another. Or, do f***ing nothing at all. But, when you begin a journey with another, be it a business or personal relationship, don't disregard that you will most likely have a profound affect on them. Big or small, we don't know if we don't communicate or be clear in our intentions. And if you have been clear in your intentions, communicate any mishaps or directional changes. Know how you affect others. Doing otherwise will result in bad juju. And, that's not a curse or some foo-foo flighty s*** to illicit harm, that's f***ing reality. Do good, receive good. Do badly...? Well, I'm positive you see where that's going.

One thing I know for sure, is the handful of people around me work their asses off and deserve every amazing thing possible! I know who's on my list that I will be taking care of, quite generously, when I am able. My reality right now though is that I just need to chill somewhere quiet for a few days and maybe... throw a snowball.