Allergies

So, I'm allergic to freaking everything. And, when I say I'm allergic to freaking "everything..." I really mean, EVERYTHING. Maybe I could run down the list real quick so you guys can get an idea of how close to anaphylactic shock I am every time I put something in my mouth... (yes, as soon as I wrote the words "put something in my mouth," my mind went to the wayside too... not judging. ha ha)

OK, here we go, I'm allergic to all this s***:

• Lettuce (yes, green leaf, red leaf, iceberg, anything water-packed)
• Dogs (yes, even so-called "hypo-allergenic" dogs)
• Cats
• Basically anything with fur (live animals or coats, doesn't matter, I'm allergic)
• Grass
• Bubble bath
• Dark liquors 
• Wine (new revelation but I'll still drink it, YOLO)
• MOLD (biggest silent killer out to get me, the bastard is in everything!)
• Bleu Cheese, Brie Cheese
• Some vegetarian products out there in the marketplace (specifically Quorn products)
• Red Meat (i.e. steaks, beef) (yes, its true. I will keel over in pain)
• heavy perfume ( I know. Sucks balls. I love perfume)
• Dust, Pollen, Hay (kind of in the grass category, but what the hell)
• Bees
• Smoke (cigarettes, etc.)
• Roller coasters (doesn't count as an allergy but I need Dramamine to get through it and I LOVE roller coasters =/)
• Air sickness (Dramamine) 
• Penicillin
• NyQuil
• Pepto-Bismal
• Thera-Flu
• Medications (i.e. Vicodin, Percocet, and anything with the word "-codone" at the end of it)
• Energy drinks

I'm basically two steps away from being the girl who needs to live in a safe bubble. I wonder how nice it would be to romp around in a field... nope, let me stop you right there.... I will break out in a serious rash up to my calves. Thank you father, this is a gift I really could have lived without. 

Why do I bring this up? Because yesterday morning after my massage, I became aware of a weird tingling sensation. (not the good kind that your like, hey yeah, gimme more... nope. the bad kind. smh) I felt it in my legs, my arms, and even my stomach! What the heck? So, I did what any other brilliant american mind would do.. I googled that s*** on WebMD to find out what the heck is going on! Now,  keep in mind, I had quite a bit of vino, Brie cheese and energy drinks the night before. Clearly, I deluded myself into believing I could "beat" the allergies at their own games and just do it! 

Boy, oh boy! Was I wrong. I was dizzy, I had migraines, my body's overall tingling sensation made me feel like I was going to have some kind of heart attack or something. I tried to move around, thinking, maybe it's a circulatory thing.. No bitch, you ate shit you're not supposed to eat! Moral of the story is don't play with allergies. If you have them, don't be a dumb ass, you cannot beat the system. I was lucky. I took to my home remedy of a 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda every two hours and the symptoms all subsided. ( I know right! Who knew? yeah, baking soda b***!) I actually didn't realize I was allergic to vino. But I don't usually knock off three bottles either. Relax, I was with a good friend that helped tip the bottles. ha ha. Also, the tingling sensations were actually brought on from the energy drinks. Yeah, do not drink that stuff either! My body was going into this paralysis shutdown type thing. A UNCOMMON side affect. UNLESS you are ME and you are allergic to everything under the sun, around the sun, oh and yeah, basically everything on planet earth.