Don't you just ladies it when exes creep out of the woodwork? Uninvited? Hide! There's a salesman on the doorstep! They're married... Or douche bags. Or married douche bags. Oh baby, you're the one that got away. Uh, really? Why? You dumped me, remember? Because you settled for a miserable woman who can't keep you satisfied? Quack. Quack. Or your life has fallen to pieces... And you had me down for Plan B? Wait. The morning after pill? Like I'm an option. Um, no. I'm no option, buffalo breath. I'm a choice. Top choice. Grade A+ Choice.
When you've moved on and you are happy, it's almost like the exes can smell it. Sniff. Sniff. So they want to taste it. Nom. Nom. Nom. But, the reality is... It's more of a test for you, than it is about them popping up. Pop! Goes the weasel! Do you really value the new person in your life? Triple value menu bitches. Are they special enough to you that you will send the past packing? Have a nice trip! Are you going to let them know you have a valuable nugget on your hands? Panned that gold. Whaaaat. That you are glad they dumped you? I sure as hell am. Because had they not, I wouldn't have been available and ready to load up on the new special sauce who entered my life. Oh yeah, got that secret sauce flow! Respect the value of your nuggets...
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